http://eliseinitaly.tumblr.com/

Tomorrow's the Day

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:47:59 -0400

June 15th! It’s been a long time coming but finally it’s here. I am going home tomorrow! I’ve been in Italy since September of 2010 but really it feels like forever. This has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done and, right now, I’m not sure I’m glad I had the experience. I am definitely happy to have traveled all over Europe and to have had wonderful experiences here that not everyone gets to have, but there were other parts of my time here that were not so wonderful and, in fact, were so not wonderful that they drastically detracted from the wonderful parts. Maybe someday I will look back on this and say with 100% certainty that this was an amazing time in my life and this experience brought me many good things. I am grateful to have meet so many great students who have so much potential. I am grateful to have lived in Europe and to have seen different ways of life. I am grateful to have improved my Italian and gotten to know the real Italy in a way that many Americans (or even Italian Americans) never will. I am grateful to have seen so much of the world at only 22 years old.

That being said, I am so ready to go home. I miss my family, my bunny and my friends. I miss my home and I miss being the me that I am at home. I am ready to go back to my life and to my city. I can’t wait to see everyone!

Tomorrow our flight leaves from Naples Airport at 1:10 pm and we arrive in New York at JFK at 5:00 pm EST. We’re flying Meridiana, direct, which is awesome! Right now we are in the process of packing (still!) and cleaning our apartment. We had to buy two new suitcases to fit all of our stuff ahhhh!!! Our parents are picking us up and we’re going back to my house for some good old fashioned Chinese food. It’s going to be delicious and I’m going to be back in my own bed.

I will continue to update Elise in Italy once in a while, specifically with entries about trips that I haven’t yet recounted (Finishing up Sardegna and also Ischia), and maybe a few follow up entries on what’s going on at home.

I know that me and Italy had a rough year this time around. At the same time, I will always feel a pull towards this country and its people. Me and Italy are tight, kind of like that friend from forever you who sometimes hate, sometimes love, but always reminds you of your past, your comfort, and who you are. Italy can beat me up, bring me down and make me tear out my hair, but at the end of the day I know I will always return. I have seen so much of this country and yet I haven’t seen enough, I haven’t seen it all.

So, Italy, ciao for now. But I’ll be seeing you, I’ll be back. No doubt.

Sardegna: One of Italy's Most Beautiful Regions

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 07:37:00 -0400

I’ve been slacking a bit on the blog front lately, don’t know why! Just haven’t been able to bring myself to sit down and write for a little. Not much has been going on, aside from our trip to Sardegna which was amazing! I’ve been wanting to visit the island for a few years now, lured in by the promises of turquoise seas and white sand beaches and I was not disappointed! Sardegna is definitely one of my favorite parts of Italy and I am planning 100% to return someday to see more.

Sal and I flew into the Olbia airport, on the North Eastern coast of the Island (facing the Italian mainland), which is also known as the “Costa Smeralda” airport. Costa Smeralda means “emerald coast” in Italian and it’s called that because of the beautiful green (more like turquoise) waters that surround the beaches here. The Costa Smeralda is also the stomping grounds of Italy and Europe’s most rich and famous VIP’s, so there are tons of really expensive resort hotels, yachts and fancy clubs all around. We didn’t stay in the Costa Smeralda proper, but rather a bit more north in a small town called Santa Teresa di Gallura. Although it may not officially be part of the Emerald Coast, our little town was no less beautiful and had one of the most stunning beaches I have ever seen!

Me in front of the church in Santa T. di Gallura

Overlooking Rena Bianca, the beach in Santa T. di Gallura, from a cliff

One of the most fun parts of this trip was also brought on by the fact that we rented a car, a Fiat 500 to be exact! Now, I’ve always loved this little car (which is one of Italy’s most timeless and iconic) and I was super excited to finally “own” one for a short period of time. We got to drive around in style and, more importantly, we actually had the freedom to go where we wanted when we wanted which was awesome! We also go to see Sardegna’s gorgeous and unspoiled countryside. The landscape reminded me a lot of Sicily, but much calmer, cleaner and more wild. There were beautiful fields of grass, grains and wildflowers that just stretched and stretched. Cows and sheep roamed freely and farmers worked untouched by mass production- just like the good old days! There were lots of rolling hills and olive groves as well. It was simply gorgeous!

Loved the wildflowers everywhere

Me & our Fiat 500

One of the best parts about having the car was the ability to seek out restaurants that were a little off the beaten path. Our first night in town we drove to an argiturismo (farm establishments that sometimes offer lodging but almost always offer meals/food products. They grow and make all their own products from scratch with ingredients from their farms!) called Agriturismo Saltara. Way off the beaten path and down a winding road, Saltara serves up a 5-course prix-fixe meal using all the ingredients from their land. The meal, which included their own homegrown wine, was delicious from start to finish and featured traditional Sardinian recipes including: Zuppa Gallurese- which is not a soup, but can best be described as a savory bread pudding featuring lots of melty cheese and home baked bread. I’ve never had it, or even heard of it before, but it was great! I think one of my favorite parts of the meal was their homemade pecorino sardo, or Sardinian sheep’s milk cheese, pickled onions, and mushroom fritters mixed with garden vegetables. YUM! It was cool not to have to order anything and just sit there and have platter after platter arrive at your table! Afterwards, me and Sal were so full we could barely walk. While the cost was typically a bit more than we pay for dinner ($38 per person) considering the amount and quality of the food (and a full liter of wine!), it was a great deal.

Me at the agriturismo before dinner

Beginning of our meal- half our table (the other half was just as full!) with antipasti

Ok- i’ve only covered about half of our 5 day trip in this post! Will return later with the rest of the trip which was equally as amazing! Gotta get back to some packing, I’m going home in FIVE days!

Beach Time

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 01:01:31 -0400

Hey everyone! I know that I have been a bit MIA in the blogosphere lately, but a lot has been going on. I just wanted to do a quick update before Sal and I fly off to Sardinia this morning. Last weekend we went to Ischia and it was beautiful! I loved it so much and, in my opinion, it’s the most beautiful of all the islands close to Napoli (that would be Capri & Procida included). Capri is usually a madhouse starting in May, so crowded that you can barely move and waiting for buses is a nightmare. Ischia was blissfully uncrowded, although not as empty and quiet as Procida, yet just as physically beautifully AND much less expensive. Heaven!

I am looking forward to spending these last two weeks in Italy with my butt parked on a beach somewhere (i.e. Sardinia and then Puglia). It’s going to be relaxing and fun! Also, we rented a Fiat 500 for our trip this weekend, my favorite car, and I absolutely cannot wait to drive it!

Updates will follow!

Beach day on ischia! (Taken with Instagram at Spiaggia dei...

Sun, 29 May 2011 07:54:38 -0400

Beach day on ischia! (Taken with Instagram at Spiaggia dei Maronti)

Pranzo a ischia (Taken with Instagram at Grifo Hotel De Charme...

Fri, 27 May 2011 08:35:30 -0400

Pranzo a ischia (Taken with Instagram at Grifo Hotel De Charme Ischia)

100th Entry!

Sun, 22 May 2011 15:35:14 -0400

Wahoo!! This is Elise in Italy’s 100th blog post! Unfortunately, I have nothing enlightening or groundbreaking to say today. We’ve all survived the rapture (although i’m pretty sure i’ve been living out the end of days apocalypse since i touched down in Naples), and this weekend was cloudy.

We spent the day starting to pack our suitcases for going home. Exactly 3 weeks and 4 days before my feet dance on US soil once again. On tuesday and wednesday i have to go to Rome for the final fulbright conference, then it’s basically my last week at school! Next week, it’s off to Sardegna and then after that off to Lecce. Let’s hope these last few weeks are good, I can’t wait to go home!!

Hey everyone! Check out this video I made of our trip to the...

Sun, 15 May 2011 15:40:00 -0400

Hey everyone! Check out this video I made of our trip to the Keukenhof and the Tulip Fields in Holland. Quality isn’t so great because my camera isn’t too good and because I couldn’t upload the high res version. Fun nonetheless! Enjoy!

"Romantic and Unspoiled Procida"

Sun, 15 May 2011 08:04:00 -0400

That’s how my guidebook describes the island of Procida. Smaller and lesser known than both Capri and Ischia, Procida is a tiny island about 45 minutes - 1 hour from Naples by boat. This weekend was beautiful, weather wise, so Sal and I decided to hop on the ferry and go check it out, since we had never been before.

On pulling into the port, the island was much more unassuming than Capri (we still haven’t been to Ischia yet!). The buildings, which at one time must have been brightly colored, were faded and crumbly. The port was lively, however, which locals coming and going about their daily business as usual.

Fishermen working in the main port

We followed the signs for the “suggested tourist itinerary” and walked up to the highest point of the island. There were only a handful of other tourists besides us and we felt like we had the entire place to ourselves! This was definitely a big change from Capri, which is suffocatingly crowded at times.

Overall, the best part of the island was the view at the top. We had a great view over one of the marinas and the cute yellow church with its pretty dome. Other than that, the island is super quiet and residential. Pretty to look at, but not much action.

Overlooking the marina

Pretty white houses

The whole marina- bellissima!

Looking towards Napoli & Pozzuoli

The blue, blue sea

After our short hike, we headed down to the main port once again for the beach. It was nothing spectacular, and in fact was covered in TRASH! UGH!!!! I cannot stand that, why would people pollute the beach? Because we couldn’t find any other beach nearby, we settled down here and moved the trash away from us as best we could. It’s so disappointing to come to someplace beautiful and find that it’s ruined by dirt and litter. Procida should take care of its public beaches! What a brutta figura on their part.

Anyway, overlooking the garbage issue, we had a nice relaxing day at the beach. Although it was hot, the water was cold so we didn’t swim.

beach!

Overall, I would say if you have free time and need something to do, check out procida! It’s calm, quaint and lovely. However, I wouldn’t put it on the top of any tourist’s to-do list.

Bella procida! (Taken with Instagram at Procida)

Sat, 14 May 2011 06:22:19 -0400

Bella procida! (Taken with Instagram at Procida)

Check out my new blog

Tue, 10 May 2011 07:43:00 -0400

UPDATE: Link was previously not working! It is now fixed, the site has been re-named “La Femminista”

I realize i’ve been posting a lot about feminism and sexism lately. Once I leave Italy, which is in approximately 35 days, I will no longer be updating “Elise in Italy” for obvious reasons (don’t cry!). Since feminism etc. is not really the purpose of “Elise in Italy”, I’ve decided to create a new blog that I plan to utilize for these posts and maintain once I return. This blog will be my outlet for airing my frustrations with sexism (which are abundant!) and promoting feminism for all.

Check it out, follow me and re-blog!

http://lafemminista.tumblr.com/

SlutWalk: For a word with so little meaning, it sure is a vicious weapon

Tue, 10 May 2011 05:19:30 -0400

SlutWalk: For a word with so little meaning, it sure is a vicious weapon:

An excellent video/speech transcript from Jaclyn Friedman at Boston’s SlutWalk. Really powerful and TRUTHFUL! Click the title of this post to read the original post over at Feministing.

I realize I’ve had a few posts on here lately that are unrelated to “Elise in Italy” but things have been pretty interesting in the Feminist blogosphere lately and I can’t help but share.

The SlutWalk NYC Event will be held on August 20th. I’m going, who’s with me?

Ginger ale: a rare find in Italy! (Taken with Instagram at...

Sun, 08 May 2011 05:52:34 -0400

Ginger ale: a rare find in Italy! (Taken with Instagram at Binario 9 - Stazione Termini)

A really interesting article about sexism and women in Italy: Must Read

Tue, 03 May 2011 06:13:00 -0400

A really interesting article about sexism and women in Italy: Must Read:

To read the article, click the title of this post above!

Here is an excerpt:

Berlusconi has always been a joker. But Italian women are no longer laughing. The prime minister’s apparent imperviousness to charges of corruption and seemingly unending revelations about sex parties have fueled anger and dismay. In February, nearly a million people demonstrated against his boorish behavior. And the fury has only escalated since. Editorials, livid op-ed letters, and sex strikes proliferate. There are demands for equality in the workplace and legislative movement to put women in positions of power. “Finally,” says Maria Latella, editor of the magazine A, “the indignation and outrage is starting to spread.”

he rage can be read in the polls. Berlusconi’s approval rating among women has dropped from 48 percent a year ago to 27 percent—an all-time low. True to form, Berlusconi has his own statistics. “Did you hear about the latest poll?” he recently joked. “They asked women between 20 and 30 years old if they want to make love to Berlusconi. Thirty-three percent said yes, and 67 percent said, ‘Again?’”

Arcidonna, a woman’s group, filed a lawsuit against Berlusconi last month for 25 years of abuse against Italian women. “The conduct of the prime minister—now charged with child prostitution—is the final straw,” says Valeria Ajovalasit, the group’s president.

Read the rest by clicking the title of the post. A really great, informative article, although Berlusconi makes me want to vomit. What a disgusting excuse for a man.

A bump in the road

Sat, 30 Apr 2011 15:58:25 -0400

So, every travel experience has to have a few bumps in the road. Aside from the minor “i’m totally miserable here and with what i’m doing” shtick that I usually complain about, my time in Europe has been relatively stress free. I’ve had the leisure to travel all over and have an amazing time everywhere I’ve gone. Our trip to Bruges and Amsterdam was fantastic (update still to come), until the very end.

I’m just going to put it out there bluntly: We were robbed! One of our bags was snatched in Brussels Central Station on the very last day of our trip on the way to our airport hotel before catching our flight in the morning. We’re still not 100% sure how it happened, but we think it was the classic scheme where one thief distracts you while the other steals your bag. All while I was waiting for Sal with the bags outside of the bathroom in the station.

Those thieves must have gotten the best bag in the station that day. Let me recount the contents: one suped up Macbook Pro including case, one 32g 3G iPad including case, two passports (both Sal’s, one American and one Italian) one iPhone charger, one Macbook charger (mine), one pair of headphones and one RICK STEVES GUIDEBOOK, plus the bag itself (Muji). In total, we estimate that the bag was worth over $4,000. Of course, no amount of money compares to having your trip ruined, your flight missed and your sense of security in the world compromised.

The worst part about it is that I could have done nothing to prevent it; I was doing everything right! Standing next to the bags, against a wall, touching the bags and keeping my wits about me! A man came up to me-somewhat persistent and pushy- and kept trying to talk to me in French. I did not engage him and simply kept saying “No no no” until finally i yelled at him “I don’t understand French!” loudly, at which point he left quickly. I think that was it. I had to let my guard down for one second to deal with this man, who honestly made me feel nervous and unsafe, and I think it is in that time that another thief came around and somehow got the bag. All in all it took less than 30 seconds and I did not even notice the bag was gone. Only when Sal came out of the bathroom did he say something and we realized what had happened.

We missed our flight in the morning because the US Embassy was closed and we were unable to get another passport in time. We had to pay for an extra night at our hotel as well as for the emergency passport and to change to a new flight. The police were not helpful and still have not returned our e-mails asking if there have been any updates on the situation (it’s been almost a week!). The only hope we hold out for getting at least the laptop and iPad returned are the tracking programs installed on them that will begin working as soon as they are connected to the internet (which they have not been yet).

In a somewhat happy ending, Sal’s parents have homeowner’s insurance which covers most of the cost of the lost items, although not the costs incurred as a result of that loss, such as the hotel and new flights. Sal’s mom and her friend were coming to visit us this week anyway so she already brought a new computer with her (Sal can’t work without his computer)! So, we’ve already got a new computer and charger for me, which is great. And now we have family here with us visiting and we are in Amalfi for the weekend (even though it’s been pouring rain the whole time), so we are content.

Overall, it was a nightmare. I feel like I was targeted because I was a female, alone. Women- i know you can relate to this- when a strange man comes at you and is persistent, it puts you on edge and you lose your focus. Even for a minute and that’s all it takes! I feel less secure in my surroundings and I also feel angry at myself for letting it happen to me. I know this is an irrational feeling given that there was nothing I could have done to stop it, but I can’t help it. I am a very aware and vigilant travler and I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. It really goes to show that it can happen to anyone and that these people are super-trained professionals!!

I still don’t understand how it happened. I still don’t understand how I have been living in Naples since October, one of the most notorious cities for crime and petty theft, and have never had a single incident. Same with New York City, where I lived for four years and would often be out late at night on the subways etc. Never a problem! Yet, there I am, waiting outside a train station bathroom in Brussels in the middle of the afternoon, and I get robbed. Who would have thought?

Apparently, in the Brussels Central Station alone there are over 50 bag thefts per day. We met a really nice American bartender at our hotel who told us that he had been robbed at the airport as well as had his house in Brussels broken into 3 times! I guess Brussels is some sort of crime center? Everyone we talked to in the city about what happened to us was like, “Welcome to Brussels, that’s how it is here.” In the Rick Steves book (which i miss desperately! Why didn’t you warn us Rick!?!), he describes Brussels as “earthy” saying its a bit grittier than most European cities and not super safe to be in after midnight, which seems a bit uninformed and minimized according to what we learned while there. If it’s such a hotbed of crime, I would have expected a little more warning-especially given that the descriptions in Naples guidebooks are over-the-top exaggerated and super explicit about the amount of theft that goes on in the city.

So, a warning to travelers everywhere: Keep your eyes open! And if it happens to you and you were doing everything right, just let it go. Don’t beat yourself up over it, learn from your mistakes and know that karma will eventually catch up with the jerks who robbed you!

Tiptoe-ing Through Tulips

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 17:37:00 -0400

Hello everyone! First and foremost, buona pasqua- Happy Easter- to all! As you may or may not know, Sal and I are currently in Amsterdam. Because I have Easter vacation from school, we planned a trip to Amsterdam and Bruges (flying in and out via Brussels and spending one night at a Brussels airport hotel). Tomorrow we leave Amsterdam for Brussels and our vacation will come to an end. It’s been an awesome trip so far and I just wanted to do an update about what we did today. A bigger update on the trip overall will come later, so stay tuned.

It has been a dream of mine to visit Holland during prime tulip season. The region is famous for it’s tulips and miles and miles of tulip fields that dominate the countryside each spring. Additionally, there is a famous park called the Keukenhof Gardens that is only open for about 8 weeks each year, from late March to earl May- with mid April being prime bloom time. It’s basically a giant botanical garden, with acres and acres of blooming flowers at every turn. It’s like Disney Land for flowers! When I saw that my Easter Break coincided perfectly with the height of flower season, I knew we had to go. Some people visit Amsterdam for its famed illicit activities, I visit for tulips.

Since I wanted to be able to ride bikes in the countryside surrounding the Keukenhof in order to see the tulip fields, I decided the best plan of action would be to bring our bikes (that we rented in Amsterdam for the duration of our stay) on the train as far as we could go, and then bike the rest of the way to the Gardens. This turned out to be a great idea and worked out perfectly. Early this morning, we woke up, hopped on our bikes and headed to the Central Station. We bought tickets to Hillegom, a small town about 5-7 km from the Keukenhof, as well as a day train pass for our bikes (The Netherlands is seriously bike friendly! Bike paths EVERYWHERE and bike train tickets with bike train sections! Awesome). About five minutes before our arrival in Hillegom, the tulip fields appeared! I was ecstatic, the fields were extraordinarily bright and came in every color of the rainbow.

As soon as we pulled into the station, we were off on our bikes! A few tips from helpful passerby and we were on the road to the Keukenhof. At every turn we found new fields: red, pink, white, orange, yellow, lavender. These pictures absolutely do not do the fields justice, no photo can- but particularly because my camera isn’t anything special. But they do give you an idea of how stunning the scenery is!

Keukenhof here I come!

One of the amazing fields close to Hillegom

The ride to the park was stunning and we arrived without incident. We anticipated large crowds, it was Easter after all, and had bought our tickets ahead of time which proved to be an excellent idea. We bypassed the lines and got right in! Let me tell you, if you ever have the chance to visit the Keukenhof at this time of year DO IT! It was flower paradise. At every corner there were different flowers, different arrangements, different colors. We hardly knew where to look first and the park was HUGE!

A close up of some of the beautiful flowers at the Keukenhof

Me posing with some Keukenhof tulips

Cool close up

so pretty peachy orange

After about 3 hours wandering the park, it was getting uncomfortably crowded and we were tired and hot. We decided it was time to head out on the bikes again for some more tulip field scouting. We were not disappointed! We continued on the same road we had taken from Hillegom, passed the Keukenhof and on. There were a lot more people on the paths this time, and we just followed along and went along on a whim where we felt like.

On the road again

On one tiny side road, we found one of the most spectacular fields. Tulips of every single color as far as the eye could see! Lots of other people had pulled over for a photo-op, too and we took advantage of one nice Dutch family to snap this photo for us.

Sal & I in a tulip field

It was awesome to get up close and personal with such a great tulip field! I was very excited, as evidenced by this photo.

Pure tulip joy

After a bit more riding, we decided to head back on the road to Hillegom. Passed more tulip fields, we finally arrived at the station- dead tired! I’m not sure how many miles we biked today but if i had to guess i’d say around 10. It was tiring but exhilarating and liberating at the same time. I highly recommend any visitors to Holland to consider coming during this season, if possible, and for sure rent a bike and ride through the tulip fields! It was an experience I will never forget and made for the perfect Easter. This is definitely one of my top Europe experiences and one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. Life dream: achieved!

Tulip love

Windmill, Bruges (Taken with instagram)

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 13:48:36 -0400

Windmill, Bruges (Taken with instagram)

Sal rides by in Bruges (Taken with Instagram at Burg Square...

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 11:40:29 -0400

Sal rides by in Bruges (Taken with Instagram at Burg Square Brugge)

Spring is Here!

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 07:44:00 -0400

Spring has arrived in full force here in Napoli! It’s been warm weather here for a while now, and that makes me happy not only because it’s sunny and gorgeous but because spring fruits and veggies have arrived at the market. One of my favorites: asparagus! I haven’t always had such a love affair with these little green spears, but for some reason last year I just wanted to give them another try and ended up loving them. Slow roasted, in soups or in risotto, asparagus is one of my favorite spring time veggies.

I had a fresh bunch in my fridge so for lunch today I whipped up a quick asparagus-lemon pasta. See photos and recipe below! Photos are my own, and my recipe was tweaked slightly (I used orechiette pasta, used only one tablespoon of olive oil, added garlic to the sauce and used pecorino romano instead of parmigiano), but based on this one from Epicurious:

Asparagus Lemon Pasta

1 lb fresh asparagus, tough ends trimmed
1 teaspoon finely grated fresh lemon zest
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 lb penne or pasta of choice
1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

Cut asparagus into 1-inch pieces, reserving tips separately. Cook asparagus stems in 5 to 6 quarts boiling water with 2 tablespoons salt until very tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a colander, reserving cooking water in pot, and rinse under cold water. Drain asparagus well and transfer to a food processor or blender.

Cook asparagus tips in same boiling water until just tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer with slotted spoon to colander, reserving boiling water in pot, and rinse under cold water. Drain tips well.

Purée asparagus stems with zest, oil, and 1/2 cup asparagus cooking water. Transfer sauce to a 4-quart saucepan.

Cook pasta in boiling asparagus cooking water until it still offers considerable resistance to the tooth, around three fourths of the recommended cooking time. Reserve 2 cups cooking water and drain pasta.

Add pasta, asparagus tips, and 1/2 cup reserved water to asparagus sauce and cook over high heat, stirring, 3 to 5 minutes, or until pasta is almost al dente and sauce coats pasta. Add more cooking water, 1/4 cup at a time, until sauce coats pasta but is a little loose (the cheese will thicken it slightly).

Stir in Parmigiano-Reggiano and salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, until cheese is melted.

Serve immediately.

With the olive oil content cut to one tablespoon, this pasta makes a very healthy and delicious, quick lunch! Yum!

Some Unfortunate News

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:00:00 -0400

Dear Readers,

I have some unfortunate news for you all, that is sure to shock and appall. In the past week, I’ve been noticing a new, and most disturbing, trend here in Naples: Rat Tails. No, not the kind that are actually attached to rats (even they wouldn’t be caught dead looking like that), but the kind that are attached to men’s heads. Yes, you’ve read correctly and I know, it’s frightening (if you are unfamiliar with the rat tail, first thank your lucky stars and then click here to find out) . This past week alone, I have noticed a total of five men with rat tails. That’s 5 days out of 7. That’s 5 days of my recent life in which, with horror and disgust, I laid eyes upon the braided monstrosity that is a rat tail.

Here I will take a second to elaborate upon just how much I hate rat tails. They make me feel physically uncomfortable, slightly queasy and nervous, and my head gets all jumbled and confused. I can’t stop thinking, WHY!? WHY would you chose to keep that piece of hair attached to your head, let alone go out of your way to braid it. When I see one, I feel like I’m looking at something I shouldn’t be seeing, like couples fighting in public or when you run into a friend/student/coworker on the street who claimed to be sick. At the same time, I can’t stop staring. It’s fascinating and it’s greasy hue draws my eyes into its sick, dark world. VOM.

Now, let me make clear that this has not been the norm throughout my time here; I have only begun to notice it within the past week. This must mean that the rat tail is making a comeback and will soon become a more popular trend. It’s possible that this could be a sign of the world’s impending doom, or maybe just another example of how humankind never learns from their mistakes.

We must find a way to pull together and STOP this trend before it spreads. Aside from carrying scissors with you everywhere you go, does anyone have suggestions on how we can do this? We need to find a way, we cannot let this progress any further than it already has. I think this matter should even take precedence over the GOP’s crusade against Planned Parenthood and women-in-general (insert uterus joke here), and I for one plan to write my senators about it. I hope you’ll join me and take up the cause.

Stay strong,

Elise

Bus Surfing: The Next Olympic Sport

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 04:54:00 -0400

Throughout my time here in Naples, I have gotten pretty good at what I like to call “bus surfing”. While not an officially recognized sport, I think that it should be up for consideration for the next Olympic games.

For those of you unfamiliar with this sport, let me explain. The first thing you will need to bus surf is a bus. Conditions are ideal when the bus is so crowded that an old woman is butt-to-butt with you and someone’s armpit is in your face while someone else is screaming at the top of their lungs, however, it is also possible to bus surf when it is only crowded enough that you get smashed by the automatic doors every time they open and then almost fall out of the bus. The next thing you will need is the absence of any firmly attached object (i.e a pole, an overhead bar, a fellow bus surfer) on which to hold. Got these two things? You’re set up for bus surfing!

The point of the game is to ride the bus for as long as possible without toppling over or knocking over someone else. I find that proper foot placement and muscle clenching are often helpful here. Remember, you absolutely CANNOT hold on to anything, although this is impossible because there is nothing to hold on to. You lose points for stepping on someone else’s feet, grabbing someone you do not know, engaging in cursing (out loud) and/or under-the-breath muttering, or angering an elderly person (happens more often than you think!).

It is also possible to gain points. You may gain points if: you manage to let people pass while the bus is in motion (the faster it’s going, the more points you receive), so that they can get right up to the door at least 10 minutes before their stop (which is totally necessary, obviously), you do not smack anyone in the face for asking you to “move in” and insisting that there is “still space available”, and, finally the biggest point-booster of all, but nearly impossible to achieve, you find an unoccupied seat and claim it immediately as your own.

The most talented bus surfers are able to successfully bus surf even after having waited at least 25 minutes at the bus stop and watched 3 buses pass in the opposite direction. In these situations, it’s a commendable feat just to get yourself on the bus, let alone ride it all the way without losing any points at all.

So get out there, find yourself a bus, and start practicing!